Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez
by MissaThePEANUT
Summary: I'm not your average nineteen year old dancer. This is the story about what very well might be, my last year on earth. This is Mimi's take on what happens during RENT. Rating just to be safe.
1. Prologue

Cat Scratch-The Story of Mimi Marquez

Prologue

Most people have someone to call when they're low on cash. I think you're about to learn that I'm not "most people". First off, it's just me, I have no one to call when I'm low on cash. Second, I don't spend my cash on what people typically do, but let's not get into that now.

I'm not your typical girl, as I'm sure you might be starting to guess. I was once, but that girl left me the same night that I left my home. Four years ago, I ran away from my home to pursue my dream-to dance. My parents agreed that it was an okay hobby, but not a job. They forced me to quit. I cried, I broke things, I screamed and I yelled, until something in me snapped. I remember that night, even though it's the night I want to change the most. I wish I could go back, and pretend it never happened.

I grabbed my dance bag, some extra cash, a bit of clothes, and I was off to where any dancer in distress would go-New York City.

I spent most of my money getting there, but I never imagined it would be so hard to make it in New York-the so-called city of opportunities. I slept on a bench for the first month that I lived there, when a man found me, and claimed I was what he was looking for. I couldn't imagine what he meant by that, but I was cold and desperate. I would do anything for a dollar-anything for an extra French fry.

I followed the man, who called himself Kevin, into a dark alleyway. We eventually got to a run-down building, where I could hear exotic music playing. He unlocked the door, and led me down a long hallway. I gazed into a room when I heard girls talking, and I was stunned. These girls were strippers! They wore leather and lace and had thick eyeliner and red lipstick. My eyes got wide and I began to stutter and tried to leave. I was a dancer-I didn't care how hungry-I was NOT about to dance around a pole for a bunch of drunks, while stripping myself of not only my clothing, but my dignity.

Kevin must have seen the look on my face because he told me not to worry and that once I heard the music I'd let myself go and forget about all the strange men touching me.

'I-I can't do this." I remember telling him.

"Yes you can. It's nothing." He told me firmly, "You start tomorrow. Be here at 9 pm tomorrow. I'll have one of my girls train you, than you can get out there and show our customers a fresh piece of meat."

With that, he escorted me to the door, and I walked back out into the night, and suddenly realized something, I had gotten a job. Sure, it was a whoreish, sleazy job, but it was a job. No more days without eating for Mimi Marquez.

* * *

I danced at the Cat Scratch Club for almost 3 months, before I started feeling the effects of dancing every night. I was exhausted walking into the club one night, and a senior dancer at the club told me that if I didn't wake up, I'd get fired. I started to panic, knowing that I couldn't get fired. I NEEDED this job. Trix called me over to the corner of the room, her back to the rest of the girls. She handed me a needle. I almost turned it down, but I remembered how badly I needed this job, so at the age of 15, I did smack in the dressing room of one of the biggest strip clubs in this end of NYC. 

I wish I would have said no, it could make my life so drastically different, I wouldn't always be worrying about where my next hit was going to come from, but more importantly, I wouldn't be HIV positive. Little did I know, when I shot up that very first night at the Cat Scratch, I was giving myself an early death sentence. Trix was HIV positive. She gave me, once good girl Mimi Marquez, the disease that will slowly kill me, the disease that will allow a mere cold to take me.

I'm not your average nineteen year old dancer. This is the story about what very well might be, my last year on earth. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, but most of all, it will teach you how to love someone, the true value of friends, and that there truly is, no day but today.


	2. Eviction

Cat Scratch-The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter One-Eviction

I sighed as I saw the paper taped to my apartment door. Oh great, I thought, I guess Benny's sick of being nice. That's real nice of him, give me my eviction notice on Christmas Eve. My best friend, Angel, put his arm around me as he spotted the notice on my door.

"How do you write a song, when the chords sound wrong, though they once sounded right and rare? When the notes are sour? Where is the power, you once had to ignite the air?!" Hm. I don't think I've heard that voice, before. Wouldn't mind hearing it again.

"Mimi, chica?" Angel asked. I was picturing myself tying Benny's good-for-nothing-'cept-maybe-a-good-fuck-now-and-then dick to a door knob, like someone would tie a loose tooth, than slamming the door as hard as humanly possible. I smiled slightly, and looked at my best friend, trying to hide the giggles I was starting to get. "I'm going to go drum a bit, kay?" Angel briefly hugged me before he walked back out of my apartment.

"…some life that we've chosen!" There was that damn sexy voice again. Apparently camera boy does actually have a friend, he doesn't just talk to himself, like Angel and I assumed he did.

"How we gonna pay, how we gonna pay, how we gonna pay last year's rent!" I was curious now, and listening quite intently, as camera boy walked up the stairs to his loft. I knew it was camera boy, sexy voice man must never leave his house, if I've never gotten a glimpse of him leaving the upstairs apartment. Judging by the duo's tone, I could tell they were in the same predicament I'm in, no money, no power, Benny being a jerk.

I heard the fire exit open upstairs, and watched as something looking like keys soared down into the hands of a rather large black guy who I think I might have seen around here before.

I turned away from the window, craving to hear that voice again. When I heard sounds from upstairs again, I noticed something about sexy voice man, his voice was clearly full of emotion, he must have been hurt bad at one point.

"How do you start a fire, when there's nothing to burn and it feels like something's stuck in your flue?"

"How can you generate heat, when you can't feel your feet." I heard what sounded like both guys jumping now, than both of their voices.

"And they're turning blue!"

"You light up a mean blaze!" Camera boy.

"With posters!" Aw, finishing each other's sentences, that's cute.

"And screenplays!" Obviously camera boy is obsessed with film or something.

"How we gonna pay, how we gonna pay, how we gonna pay last year's rent!" The guys sounded edgy now. I walked towards the fire exit of my apartment, searching my pockets for a cigarette as I went. I heard upstair's fire escape open once more, followed by camera boy's voice, full of question and concern now.

"Where is he?"

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was standing outside my fire escape, dropping my eviction notice, which I had just lit on fire, over the edge and into the street below. Sexy voice man joined camera man, and we all thought and exclaimed the same thing next.

"How we gonna pay, how we gonna pay, how we gonna pay last year's rent!" Hm, my voice sounded good with sexy voice man.

I heard camera boy's voice move away, and assumed he was going back inside, now was my chance!

"The music ignites the night with passionate fire"

"The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit" Damn, sexy voice man was inside too. Is it so bad to want at least a glimpse of this mysterious guy who I didn't even know existed? Incendiary wit…what the hell was that supposed to mean? Maybe sexy voice man was a geek in disguise behind a sexy voice. Maybe the reason I've never noticed him is because he studies all the time or something. I shuddered. I wasn't one for the scholarly type.

"Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground." I actually rolled my eyes this time. Couldn't camera boy go 30 seconds without mentioning film?

"And feel the heat of the future's glow." Whoa, I just can't get over that damn voice!

"How do you leave the past behind when it keep finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out, 'til you're torn apart. Rent!" That's so true. It's impossible to stay away from your past. It has a way of coming to get you, no matter what you do.

I blinked and noticed fire falling from above me. These guys are insane, they could have hit me!!

"How can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray?" Wow. That was true too, my parents betrayed me, Trix betrayed me, Benny betrayed me…Those two know what they're talking about when it comes to life, that's obvious.

"What binds the fabric together, when the raging, shifting winds of change, keep ripping away!" Ugh. I noticed Benny pulling up in his Range Rover. Judging my everyone's reactions, they were just as excited to see him as I was.

My usually calm temper nearly flared at the next voice I heard. "Draw a line in the sand, and then make a stand!" That stupid fuck! Coming to cause more problems I assumed.

Apparently, sexy voice was sick of camera boy's camera too…

"Use your camera to spar!"

"Use your guitar!" Guitar!?!? Bonus. I got myself a musician…Well, sort of. He just had to find out that I exist, that's all.

"When they act tough--you call their bluff!" Everyone hated Benny and no one was gonna bother to hide it anymore.

"We're not gonna pay,"

"We're not gonna pay," I joined in this time, quietly, trying to blend my voice with sexy voice man's.

"We're not gonna pay," I said it again, louder this time.

"Last year's rent, this year's rent, next year's rent!" Everyone was raging at out landlord now.

"Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent! We're not gonna pay rent!"

And camera boy and sexy voice man pretty much summed it up.

"'cause everything is rent!"


	3. Sexy Voice Man

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Sexy Voice Man

I wandered back into my apartment, after of course; I made contact with Sexy Voice Man. I heard two people hurrying down the stairs, and listened to an argument between Benny and camera boy, but the next words out of Benny's mouths surprised me the most.

"Roger, you're looking good for a guy coming off of a year of withdrawal." I only knew he was talking to Sexy Voice Man, because of Roger's (Yes. I can finally stop calling him Sexy Voice man!) reply. Withdrawal. That meant…if that meant what I thought it meant, than Roger would understand how easy it is to be addicted to smack, a lot less explaining later on…

"What do you want Benny?"

"Well, my investor-"

"You mean your father in law?" There was a new edge in Roger's voice now; obviously Benny had gotten him in the right spot.

There was so much for me to wonder about Sexy Voice Man-Roger. There was something in the way that he moved, and spoke-he had a mysterious aura, the kind that screams, "I'm hurting, but I'm gonna pretend to be a tough guy, so fuck you." Hm. That's alright, I like tough guys who play hard to get. I started to sweat just a bit, usually an excuse for me to jump for my precious drug, but I had other things to be concerned about. I wanted-needed to know more about him.

I wanted him so bad, and I had never even talked to him. So much for the fearless Mimi Marquez, who can strip herself of all dignity for a room of drunks, but can't even muster the guts to say hi to a hot guy. Pathetic. Not that I had much time anyway. I sighed, guys can be frustrating.

I continued to listen to Roger and camera boy's argument with Benny. I gathered that camera boy had recently been dumped by his girlfriend for a girl, which judging by his cute laugh, and amused tone, Roger found funny and also that Benny had once lived in the loft, with Roger, camera boy, Maureen(camera's boy's girlfriend gone lesbian) and Collins(Maybe the guy who got the keys to the upstairs loft earlier?).

My mind wandered, until I heard a pair of people making their way up the stairs, camera boy bitching and complaining the whole way.

"Why do you still laugh about Maureen? It's not funny! And who does Benny think he-"

"Shut the fuck up Mark." Mark. Okay, so camera's boys name is Mark. That's easy to remember. Roger (Like I'd ever forget) and Mark. Simple enough. I settled into the chair, considered getting up to prepare my smack, which I could tell my body was craving.

A few minutes later, when I did get up, I found myself walking past my needles, and out of my apartment, guided by the light of my candle.

I was startled, yet also satisfied when I saw Roger, guitar in hand, walking into his loft, looking defeated. That meant he was alone, I had heard Mark leave a few minutes before.

Now was my chance. I felt a mischievous look come across my face, and knew what I needed to do. It may seem almost desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I blew out my candle, and walked to the door of Roger and Mark's loft. I closed my eyes, breathed, and knocked on the door. What's the worst that could happen?

He answered faster than I thought he would, and obviously thinking I was Mark, opened the door.

"What'd you forget?" I held my candle at him, hoping I sounded sincere, yet seductive at the same time.

"Got a light?" I watched as his eyes quickly moved up my body, and stopped on my face, "I know you." I didn't wait for an invite, and walked past him into his loft. "You're…You're shivering." Wow. He really sounded like he cared. I didn't notice the tremor until Roger did, to be honest. It was something I was used to and usually didn't feel anymore.

I wrapped my arms around myself and turned to face him. "It's nothing, they turned off my feet, and I'm just a little weak on my feet." I wouldn't let him see how desperately addicted to heroin I was yet. "Would you light my candle?" I looked down slightly, and noticed that he was wrapping me in his leather jacket. So far, so good. I decided to take a chance, "What are you staring at?" He had been secretively sneaking peeks, but I knew he was watching me, as I moved through his loft.

"Nothing," Wow. What a wuss. "Your hair in the moonlight." Maybe, not so much of a wuss. More sweetheart like now. "You look familiar." He lit my candle with a match.

He had probably seen me at the club, but I didn't want to share my job quite yet. I stumbled slightly, trying not to pass out. I needed my fix soon. Roger reached out and kept me standing somewhat straight.

He looked me right in the eye, before sincerely asking, "Can you make it?" I couldn't tell him about the drugs yet, so I made yet another excuse.

"Just haven't eaten much today," I told him, as I pulled myself away from him to walk away. "At least the room stopped spinning…Anyway…" Staring again. He was so busted, "What?" I asked him curiously.

"Nothing," Back to wuss Roger apparently. "Your smile reminded me of…" A sad look crossed his face, so I tried to get the focus back on me.

I pretended to be annoyed, "I always remind people of…Who is she?" He stuttered a bit before answering.

"She died. Her name was April." Aw, well that means he's single, I think. I secretly blew out my candle, when I was sure he wasn't looking.

"It's out again." I showed him my candle. "Sorry about your friend." I added as an afterthought, hoping I sounded sincere. "Would you light my candle?" We stood awkwardly as he lit my candle again.

"Well?" He said.

"Yeah…" I said. "Ow!" I immediately brought my now burned finger up to my mouth.

"Oh, the wax. It's-" I decided to take a huge chance.

"Dripping! I like it between my-" moving myself closer to him, until he interrupted.

"Fingers! I figured." He said, jumping away from me. Maybe I went too far.

"Oh well. Goodnight." I handed him back his jacket and made my way towards the door. I blew out my candle and began searching for my stash. It wasn't there. I knocked at the door again, this time, rather annoyed.

"It blew out again?" Roger asked, sounding almost amused. I was frustrated. I needed my smack…NOW. I didn't even care about telling him I did it anymore. I needed it.

"No, I think that I dropped my stash!" I exclaimed, searching my body for the drug I knew wasn't there.

"I know I've seen you out and about…when I used to go out." He just didn't get it did he? "Your candle's out." Who cares about my stupid candle?

I threw my arms up and sighed angrily, walking back into the loft. "I'm illin'. I had it when I walked in the door. It was pure!...Is it on the floor?" I bent down, making sure my ass was visible to Roger.

"The floor?" he mumbled uneasily. He was cute when he sounded embarrassed. I decided to have some fun with him. I looked back at him, ass still in the air and smiled.

"They say that I have the best ass below 14th street." I watched him gawk, "Is it true?"

"What?" he asked, a little too quickly.

I decided to stop being a tease for once in my life, and brought myself into a sitting position. "You're staring again."

It was fun, watching him stutter. "Oh no-" he smiled, "I mean you do-have a nice-You look familiar."

"Like your dead girlfriend." Wow. That sounded bitchy. Oops. I continued to look, he started helping.

"Only when you smile," he replied, "But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else."

"Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work." I paused, not believing that I was telling him. "I dance."

He looked rather amused, and breathily answered me. "Yes! They used to tie you up," he said, rather accusingly.

"It's a living." I said, defending my job.

"I didn't recognize you, without the handcuffs." He said smirking. He was making fun of me! The bastard! I decided to stop it from going any further. I held out my candle again.

"We could light the candle." I caught an apprehensive look he gave me. I was shaking pretty bad now. "Oh, won't you light the candle?"

He looked almost sad for a minute as he lit my candle, before continuing.

"Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're 16." He told me matter of factly. Damn. Busted. Wait. Maybe not…

"I'm 19," I told him, trying to hide the annoyance out if my voice. I stood up, "but I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad." I continued, walking away. I really didn't like where this conversation was going.

"I once was born to be bad," he continued, "I used to shiver like that."

God damnit, he could see right through me. Think fast Meems, think fast.

"I have no heat I told you!" He wasn't buying it, I could tell by the look on his face.

"I used to sweat." Oh. He was good.

"I got a cold." Desperate, I know. I wish he would have believed me.

"Uh-huh, I used to be a junkie." He said. He wasn't exactly being nice about it. Maybe he's really not interested, than again, maybe he actually cares.

"But now and then I like to feel good."

"Uh-huh." We stood there silently until he obviously saw something on the floor. He bent over to pick it up. My stash!

"Oh, here it i-" he said, suddenly stopping himself. I needed to get my hands on that smack.

"What's that!?!" I asked him, getting closer.

"Candy bar wrapper." He said, obviously hiding something.

"We could light the candle," I said, moving closer. Surprisingly, he didn't move away. Instead, he reached out and put out my candle.

"Oh, what'd you do with my candle?" I asked him. He sat down hurriedly, obviously to stop me from getting my hands on the heroin that was now sitting in his pocket.

"That was my last match," he said casually. I climbed so I was almost sitting on him. I sat down very close to him, and he let me.

"Our eyes'll adjust. Thank God for the moon." I said. He looked up at me with a smug look on his face before continuing.

"Maybe it's not the moon at all. I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street." Bastard. That could have been really romantic, you know with only the moonlight and such, but like every other guy, he had to go and ruin. Oh well.

I put my hand into his, and playfully felt it with both hands. "Bah Humbug, bah humbug."

He looked weak and surprised for a few seconds, as if he had forgotten what it felt like to have someone that close. "Cold hands."

"Yours too. Big, like my fathers." I needed my smack, and I knew just how to get it.

"Do you wanna dance?" I asked him, pulling out off of the couch.

"With you?" God, how dense could he be?

"No," I said playfully, "With my father."

He looked nervous, "I'm Roger."

"They call me," I began to circle him seductively, "They call me Mimi." I said, reaching into his back pocket and taking my heroin. I showed him my prize, before casually walking out of the loft. He'd had enough for one night.

I walked downstairs to my apartment, heroin in hand. Who knows, I thought, maybe I'll have Roger's hand in mine, instead of the smack soon enough. I can't get ahead of myself, that's how the strong fail.


	4. Sweet Lullaby

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Three: Sweet Lullaby

I walked into my apartment and went to turn on the light. Oh. Yeah. That bastard turned off the power, on Christmas Eve. Nice guy, that one is.

I wanted to sleep, I was exhausted. But I was also exhilarated. I wanted to scream his name over and over. I just loved the sound of it.

Roger. Roger. Roger! He's mine! I skipped around my apartment, trying not to grin. Tonight had gone much better than I had expected it too.

I prepared my heroin carefully, and tied a piece of rubber around the top of my arm. I hesitated, remembering that Roger didn't seem to approve of my drug use. I shook the thought out of my head; I'd worry about it later.

I began to smack my arm, waiting for the vein to surface. As I held the needle to my arm, it was hard to hold it still, I was shaking badly.

I injected my precious drug into my body once more. I grabbed my jacket and headed to the place I always go at this time of night-work.

I got tipped fairly well tonight, I reflected, as I sat in the dressing room, trying to wind down from the dancing. The whole night, all I could do, was picture Roger watching me dance. Watching as his satisfied look, turned into a look of wanting, and well, the rest of the story tells itself. So maybe it didn't actually happen, a girl can dream, right?

I grabbed my leopard print jacket, and threw it on before going out into the dark, cold night. I walked into the alleyway, there was one more stop I needed to make before heading home for the night. I went to visit the man, and when he gave me a look, I nodded. I wanted the same that I did every other night-enough heroin to get me through the next day, and if he was feeling generous, a little extra.

I handed him my money in exchange for the drug that I cherished so much. I gave him a slight smile before putting my smack away and headed home, to discover that Angel had apparently decided not to spend the night.

Oh well, I thought, can't really do much about it. I cuddled deep into my blankets. I was shivering. The stupid fuck had turned off the heat, and left me to freeze. It's cold in New York!

I was nearly asleep, when an idea came to me. Tomorrow was Christmas, and I didn't want to spend it alone. I could invite Roger…but how? I was awake now, with this new plan forming in my mind.

Without a second thought, I dragged myself back out of my warm bed. I lit up a cigarette and walked towards the fire escape. I stood outside, staring out at the city, while I collected my thoughts.

I was fragile, I couldn't take Roger rejecting me. But he wouldn't reject me. He's lonely, and besides, he was checking me out pretty good earlier…

I climbed up the stairs to the upstairs loft where Roger and Mark lived. The windows were dusty. Perfect. Carefully, I traced letters into the window. Hopefully Roger would notice them.

"XMAS BRUNCH MIMI

JUST US?"

I made my way back to my apartment, hoping-almost praying that Roger would come down to see me tomorrow. I needed him…

The next morning, I woke up to a surprise visit from Angel (dressed in a rather slutty Santa suit), and, surprisingly, the big black guy from the night before. Apparently, Collins had been mugged, when Angel found out. Angel brought Collins to Life Support with him, and then later on, they had discovered that the shared the wonderful thing known as homosexuality. After that, poor Collins got much more than he could have imagined. Not only did he get a gorgeous partner, he got a drag queen. Collins is HIV positive, just like Angel and I. Maybe it is more common that I thought it was.

I pondered on how commons AIDS was getting, before I remembered. Roger could be coming down anytime. I had to be ready. I quickly changed (With Collins and Angel right there. I'm a stripper, I don't care anymore.) Collins and Angel left to go up to the loft, seeing as the guys were probably worried-Collins was supposed to have been up their many hours before. Collins walked up the stairs, and Angel stayed behind for a few brief minutes.

"Mimi chica?" she said, "Would you like to come to Life Support? You haven't come in a while, and you're starting to look like you could use it."

I shook my head, "No, I'm actually expecting company today, but thanks anyways. I guess I'll see you later?"

Angel's face brightened, "Is your mama coming?"

I smiled sadly, "I wish. She still won't talk to me."

Angel hugged me and placed a light kiss on my cheek, before hurrying after his newly found lover.

I listened to the conversation upstairs, it was quite funny.

I could hear Angel's voice, and couldn't help but laugh to myself, when I heard the story that she was telling.

"It was my lucky day today on Avenue A, when a lady in a limousine drove my way. She said, "Darling - be a dear - haven't slept in a year

I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear" "This Akita-Evita just won't shut up,I believe if you play non-stop that pup will breathe its very last high-strung breath. I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death" Today for you - tomorrow for me. Today for you - tomorrow for me. We agreed on a fee - A thousand dollar guarantee

Tax-free - and a bonus if I trim her tree. Now who could foretell that it would go so well, but sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell. After an hour - Evita - in all her glory on the window ledge of that 23rd story, like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues, swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews ."

Ha. That was sooo Angel. I lit up a cigarette, and tried to wait patiently for Roger to hopefully come down here.

I waited, but I started to lose hope that he was coming. I could feel tears burning in my eyes, as I began to face that he possibly rejected me. I curled into my bed, and fell asleep, dreaming of Roger and his guitar-my sweet lullaby.


	5. Family Ties

Cat Scatch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Four: Family Ties

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of my phone ringing. I hurried out of bed, swearing when I stubbed my toe. I reached to take the phone off of the hook, but paused when I heard the deeply accented Spanish voice that filled the room when my answering machine picked up.

"Mimi chica, I know you're there. Please. Answer your telephone. It is your mama, Mimi. Mimi, please chica, answer your phone. I have much to say to you, Mimi, please…" I closed my eyes and took a breath, as my shaking hand reached down to answer the phone call that I thought would never come.

"Mama…" I couldn't hide the emotion in my voice.

"Oh, Mimi chica- please come home..." A lump formed in my throat at the pain in my mother's voice. I had waited 4 years for this phone call to come, but this wasn't what I wanted. I wanted mama to tell me that she loves me, to comfort me-embrace me, somehow, not ask-beg me to come home.

"Is there something wrong mama? I asked her, my voice bare of all emotion-I hoped. There had to be a reason behind this phone call. After four years of unanswered letters, Christmas cards and phone calls, why would she suddenly call me out of the blue and try to convince me to come home?

"I miss you Mimi. You are my daughter, I love you very much. It is very difficult for me to be making this phone call. Your father-He...is still mad with you." I lost it at this.

"Mad at me for what? Running away? Dancing? Growing up? Being mature enough to handle life on my on? If anyone should be mad, it should be me! I've been ignored for four years because I like to dance? How is that any kind of love, mama? Tell me, please, because I'm not quite understanding you!" I began to cry, and I didn't bother to keep the emotion out of my voice. I wanted so much just to cry, to let it all out-tell my mom everything about the Cat Scratch Club, about the heroin and other drugs, about Angel, about Roger, about Benny-but most importantly, about the fact that her only daughter is dying from HIV.

I was answered with silence on the other end. "Why mama, why?" I sobbed. I knew that I was being unfair, but at the same time I knew that I deserved answers that I've been forced to wait for-I waited four long years to be able to ask these questions and now that I finally could, no one could tell me the answers.

I could hear my mother struggle with her words for a few moments before she finally answered me.

"Mimi, you have to understand where your father and I are coming from. Dancing is not a logical career, It's full of dead ends. You'll never get a real job."

'What if I told you that I have a real job?" I do, sort of. "I'm making a living dancing, just like I always said I would!" I was almost screaming now.

"But for how long Mimi? Dancing works now because you are young, but what will happen when you get old and are too tired to dance? What will you do then?" Too bad my mother didn't realize that I wouldn't grow old either way…

"I can be a choreographer or something." I shrugged, who cares? I won't get old enough to have to figure it out.

"It doesn't sound like you've thought of it much…"

"Maybe that's because I don't have to!" My hands were shaking so bad that it was hard to hold the phone. This wasn't how I wanted this to turn out…

"What do you mean you don't have to, Mimi chica?" My mama sounded concerned now, something I wasn't expecting. I sobbed as I told her my deepest, darkest secret.

"I'm dying Mama." I would have continued but by now the emotion overcame me. It was silent-I had obviously shocked my mother severely. After a few silent eternities, she finally said something back, her voice weak, and raw with emotion.

"How Mimi? I don't understand. How can you be dying? You are still so young…" I closed my eyes and let tears flow gently down my cheeks. I struggled to answer her yet when the words came, it surprised me at the ease the words slid off of my tongue with.

"I have HIV, mama. AIDS." I heard my mother cry and I cried with her-an phenomenon. We haven't spoken once in four years-and now we were crying together-even though we were separated by thousands of miles.

"Oh Mimi…" She paused, trying to gain a bit of composure. "How did this happen? Are you having sex?" Me? Sex? Never. " Were you raped? Oh baby, I hope you weren't raped!" She was quite hysterical by now, I didn't know what to say-whether I should fess up to using heroin, or whether I should let her think that her little Mimi was still innocent and this it was some dirty old man who gave me the disease, that in reality has been caused by my own stupidity.

I closed my eyes as the truth slipped out. "It's drugs mama. It's from using drugs." I let out my breath that I didn't realize that I had been holding, and waited for the inevitable-this would surely send mama over the edge. I was surprised at the voice I heard from her next. I expected yelling-instead the voice of my mother used was one that I was never accustomed to hear-a broken, hollow voice of defeat.

"Oh baby, come home, please. I can take care of you." I was tempted. I really, really was. But I knew that I couldn't go home-I couldn't go back to the place to where I had lived innocent and carefree. Going back would mean admitting defeat-something Mimi Marquez just didn't do.

"I…I can't mama…I can take care of myself. I promise."

"I wish I could believe you. Mimi, you have AIDS! One who takes care of herself does not get AIDS. One who takes care of herself does not use drugs! After a few minutes, I finally has the guts to say something.

"Mom, I love you. You know that…I made mistakes, one that I'll be forced to live with and die from. Is that not a big enough punishment? Besides, I have friends here that I won't leave, along with a steady job that I absolutely love. If you were dying and had everything you have ever wanted, would you want to drop it and go back to a place where you're not good enough for anyone…not even your own parents?" I said it before I could stop myself. I went to apologize, but then I realized that it was the truth. I never was good enough for them. I came to New York to prove that I was somebody, and now that I had, I wasn't about to let my parents stop me.

"You were always good enough, Mimi! We love you and that is why we pushed you as we did! If we knew what would happen because of it, do you honestly think that we would have pushed you that much? I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry!" I heard her sob. "Please, Mimi, just come home. Let me help you." She was begging, but I couldn't let myself give in.

"Sorry isn't good enough anymore, mama. I'm not coming home. Not now. Not ever. And." My voice broke, "until you can accept me for who I am, regardless of what has happened and the mistakes that I have mad, don't call me back."

"Mimi-please! I'm begg.." Click. I hung up the phone. Well, that was a great addition to an already wonderful Christmas. Mama called me back four or five times, after that, I turned off the ringer and curled back up into my ball, when I dozed, until I was eventually woken by a steady stream of Spanish coming from my best friend Angel.


	6. Night Life

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Five: Night Life

Angel got me out of bed in a hurry, shaking me, while telling me I had promised my boss that I wouldn't be late for work again. Shit! Work! Fuck! Well that's great. If it wouldn't have been for Angel, I would have slept right through my shift. That was the one downside to being a stripper, no day shifts.

I climbed out of bed, and looked up at Angel with sad eyes. I still couldn't believe what had happened between my mother and I. Angel asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't answer her. I fought as hard as I could against the tears I knew would come.

"Oh Mimi chica," I heard Angel sigh as she embraced me tightly. 'What happened hun?"

I gasped for breath to tell Angel everything. "My…Mama…" I tried to explain, but when words failed me I pointed at the answering machine. Angel understood that whatever had happened could be found out by listening to the answering machine.

Angel cautiously moved away and pressed play, "Mimi, chica." I closed my eyes when I heard how pained my mama sounded. I had forgotten to stop my answering machine, so I was forced to relive my conversation with my mother all over again. I watched as Angel's expressions changed, according to what was being said. Angel listened carefully and embraced me once more.

Angel held as I sobbed-not only because of mama, I let everything out, and Angel, being the best friend in the world, like always, just held me, knowing that I didn't want to talk-knowing that I just needed someone to hold me and to tell me that everything would be okay.

Some time later, we broke apart, and I took a quick shower, I had exactly 41 minutes to get ready and go to work. Angel waited for me, and watched me carefully as I applied my makeup and did my hair. I opened up the cupboard and took out my heroin-I hope Angel understood that I needed this if I wanted to make it through the night.

I could sense the look of disproval she was giving me before I could look at her. I could feel her eyes on me, as I prepared my fix carefully and precisely. I looked up at her with watery eyes as I injected the heroin into my vein, and swore that I could see a few tears sliding down her cheeks. I hated doing it in front of Angel, but I knew she would be alright.

We hurried out of my apartment soon after that, and she went her separate way to go to dinner with Collins and Mark, and I went to the only place where I could truly go crazy-The Cat Scratch Club.

When I arrived in the dressing room, Trix handed me a needle, I nearly declined it, but decided, what the hell? I might as well have a good time tonight.

I waited in the wing for my cue. The music started up, I recognized the strong drumming as my cue. It was my time to shine. I kicked my leg from my position on the pole. I felt the light shining on me, and the people cheering. I moved my body to the music, in a sweet yet seductive way, "What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight." With one hand still on the banister, I began untying my robe to reveal my body to all these men in front of me.

"My body's talking to me," I sang, touching my body seductively, "It says time for danger," I kicked my leg up, giving my audience a clear view of everything I had to offer.

I moved down the stairs, sexily, intriguing the audience, willing to look at me, willing them to focus on only me. "It says, I wanna commit a crime," I continued, "Wanna be the cause of a fight." I kicked my legs up again for effect. I spun around sexily, willing the men closer. "I wanna put on a tight skirt, and flirt, with a stranger." I continued to let the music and drugs persuade me into dancing in ways I didn't know were possible without some help.

"I've had a knack, from way back, of breaking the rules, once I learn the game. Get up! Life's too quick, I know some place sick, where this chick'll dance in the flames." I swung around the pole, finally beginning to feel like this was what I was meant to do. I reached out for the money that was being held out to me, and danced dirty with Trix for a brief moment-always a big turn on for the men. "We don't any money, I always get in for free. You can get into if you get in with me." I danced with the other dancers, seductively, watching as mens jaws dropped-they were getting more than they paid for tonight.

"Let's go out tonight." I crawled around on the floor, giving anyone who was looking-everyone in the club basically- a view of every nook and cranny of my body. "I have to go out tonight.

I slithered and threw myself gracefully all over the front of the stage, "You wanna play, let's run away. We won't be back before it's New Year's Day. Take me out tonight," I stoked my body, before giving the business the ultimate pleasure, by touching myself. "Meow, hah." I grabbed a guy's hat, and another's drink and continued to let the music guide my body. I continued dancing, until, after about 400$ in tips came my way, and my shift was over.

I skipped happily out of the club, "When I get a wink from the doorman, do you know how lucky you'll be, that you're on line with the feline, of Avenue B?" I spun in the streets. This many tips meant I could afford (sort of) some more heroin tonight, so before heading back to my apartment, I made a stop to see The Man, and bought double my usual amount-I would share with Roger when I got back. "Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight." I'll take Roger, I thought, skipping down the street towards home. "You wanna prowl, be my night owl? Well take my hand, we're gonna howl out tonight.

I arrived at my apartment, finally winding down and sobering up a bit. I couldn't stay in tonight. I could go out with Angel like I usually do when I get like this, but tonight, I had only one person on my mind-Roger.

"In the evening, I've got to roam, can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome," I took off my coat, and threw it carelessly down, along with my keys, "Feels too damn much like home, when the Spanish babies cry." I opened my fire escape and climbed out into the night, I was no longer thinking down, just letting my heart and feet get me to where I wanted to be. "So, let's find a bar, so dark we forget who are, and all the scars from the nevers and maybes die." I danced around, just like I was back at the club,

"Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight." I made my way up the stairs towards the loft-towards Roger. "You're sweet, wanna hit the street? Wanna wail at the moon at a cat in heat?" I was at the door now, I knew Roger knew that I was there. "Just take me out tonight."

I opened the door of the fire escape, and watched as Roger looked me up and down, just as he had the night before, "Please take me out tonight."

I moved seductively towards him, showing him that he owned me if he wanted to. "Don't forsake me. Out tonight." Roger smiled briefly before his face turned back to awe and amazement. I made my way towards him and climbed onto the table where he was sitting, guitar in his lap. "I'll let you make me out tonight. Tonight." I could see his lips wanting me now, I grabbed the heroin from my belt, "Tonight."

I threw my arms around his neck, "Tonight," I kissed him deeply and passionately, he kissed me back after the shock had worn off. I could feel that he wanted me, and I couldn't believe it when he pulled out of the kiss, and pushed me away, looking at me like I was dirt. Fuck. This sucks.


	7. Temptation and Rejection

Catscratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Six: Temptation and Rejection

I barely had time to catch myself from falling, as Roger pulled himself from my embrace. "Who do you think you are, barging in on me and my guitar?" He paused to look at me, as if my hurt expression would please him in some way,

"Little girl." Little girl? Yeah, right…Because little girls totally strip and do drugs and fall in love. "Hey, the door is that way," He gestured towards the door way. I tried not to cry, he's such a fucking asshole! Why is being like this? He's feeling me like I'm feeling him, I know he is!

"You better go, you know the fire's out anyway. Take your powder, take your candle. Your sweet whisper, I just can't handle!" Sweet whisper. Hm, maybe it wasn't over yet. He walked towards the door of the loft, God, this guy had serious anger issues. " Well take your hair in the moonlight, your brown eyes. Goodbye, goodnight!" He yelled, swinging the door open, he stuttered for a moment, and I took it as an opportunity to make this right.

"I should tell you, I should tell you," he kept repeating as I made my way over to where he was leaning, "I should tell you, I should," I placed my hand gently on his shoulder, " NO!" He yelled, making me jump as he swung around. I thought he was gonna hit me for a second.

"Another time, another place," He continued, chasing me back into his loft. He moved closer to me, and I tried to remain calm, " Our temperature would climb, there'd be a long embrace. We'd do another dance. It'd be another play. Looking for romance? Come back another day." He said the last bit as he walked past me, and picked up his guitar. I knew what that was-it was the dismissal bell. Yeah, like I'd go for that. I wasn't done with him yet.

"Another day." He repeated, shaking his head and looking-staring at me. He sat down and gave me the opportunity that I had been waiting for. I looked over at him, and repeated the words that Angel has once taught me.

"The heart may freeze, or it can burn." I inched towards him hesitantly, "The pain will ease, if I can learn." He refused to look back at me, so I walked around to face him,

"There is not future, there is no past. I live this moment, as my last." He finally looked up at me, a pained expression now replaced the angry one.

" There's only us." I knelt towards him, "There's only this," I continued, shugging. I needed to remind him to past his past behind him and focus on me. " Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today." He looked convinced for a second, but the next words to come out of his mouth were more hurtful than ever,

"Excuse me if I'm off track," he said, with a smug look on his face, "but if you're so wise, then tell me-why do you need smack?" He stood up again, this time getting more in my face. "Take your needle," he grabbed my arm, escorting me out of his apartment. I couldn't believe this! This was so ridiculous, what would it take for him to want me the same way that I want him? "Take your fancy breath, and don't forget, get that moonlight out of your hair!" He pushed me roughly out of his loft, I thought he was done, but I wasn't quite so lucky,

"Long ago you might have lit up my heart, but the fire's out and it's never gonna start!" I turned away, thinking he would close the door and go back to his precious guitar, but instead, he chased me out of my own building, shouting at me the whole fucking time,

"Another time, another place. The words would only rhyme, we'd be in outer space." I bit my lip to keep myself from crying, how could anyone be this cruel? "It'd be another song, we'd sing another way. You wanna prove me wrong?" I did, not so sure now. He finally stopped, and leaned on the banister, continuing to yell as I stormed out of my building, "Come back another day. Another day!" I took one more look at him, before I stepped out outside into the cold Winter night. I made a split second decision to keep arguing with him, not that it was likely to make a difference.

"There's only yes! Only tonight," I wrapped my arms around myself, to keep me warm and as a means of comfort. "We must let go, to know what's right," He had to let go of that May? June? April maybe? Yeah, I think it was April. He needed to put it behind him, and let me in! I was shouting at the top of my lungs, knowing he was listening. "No other course, no other way. No day but today!"

He stepped out onto the fire escape, and looked out into the city. He shook his head, as Angel, Collins and Mark turned the corner. He knew he would be outnumbered in this argument. I was still feeling him, and I knew that he wanted me, so why the hell couldn't he just give in? He had nothing to lose, except maybe his virginity- ha ha. "I can't control,"

"Control your temper!" He said to no one in particular.

"My destiny."

"She doesn't see!" I didn't see what?

"I trust my soul." I yelled up at him,

"Who says there's a soul!?" He yelled back,

"My only goal, is just to be!"

"Just let me be!"

He continued to shout at me, but as Angel put her arm on my shoulder, I focused only on what she had taught me, "There's only now, there's only here. Give into to love, or live in fear!" Angel's grip on my hands comforted me, and urged me to continue, " No other path, no other way," I looked up to watch him storm back towards the door, and looked into Angel's eyes, "No day but today." I looked back at Roger, he was avoiding my eyes,

"The fire's out anyway." He looked almost sorry that he was breaking my heart, than again-he was probably just feeling sorry for himself. He continued to rage, and I kept repeating my life's motto to no one in particular.

"Take your powder; take your candle. Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette." He was very emotional by now, and if it wouldn't have been for Angel, I would have been too. "No day but today, no day but today, no day today."

Roger stormed around some more, "Another time, another place. Another rhyme, a warm embrace!"

"No day but today! No day but today!" Angel was the only thing keeping me from crumpling to the ground. I couldn't contain my feelings anymore.

Roger looked down at me once more. "Another dance, another way, another chance, another day!"

With Angel's support, I managed to have the final words, "No day but today." The words before escaped my lips before I looked up at Roger, who actually made eye contact before disappointedly heading back into his loft. I looked as Angel, who had a sympathetic look on her face, before crumpling into her arms and breaking down, with her patting my hair, right there, on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B.


	8. She'll Still Cry Tonight

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Seven-She'll Still Cry Tonight

I'm not really sure how long Angel held me on the corner, but she eventually managed to calm me down enough to bring me into my apartment. She helped into my bed, where she embraced me, and tried to quiet my sobbing.

It was the second time today that I had found myself in this position-dissolving-breaking, in the warm embrace of Angel. The events of the day caught up with me, and I curled into Angel's warm body and sobbed.

She held me close, telling me that Mark had promised he'd talk to Roger, like that would actually help. He led me on, and then, when I needed him the most, decided that he wasn't ready to be with me. How could he be like that? Had he really been hurt so bad that he couldn't love anymore? No-That wasn't possible…

I continued to cry, knowing that it was safe to show Angel my unprotected self. This would be one of the few times that I would expose this side to anyone-even Angel. I could feel Angel trembling, willing himself not to break down and cry with me, I guessed. I felt as she suddenly strengthened and I felt more protected and comforted than I ever had in my life.

I snaked my arms around his back and pressed myself into her, needing to feel the protection and comfort that she was supplying to me. I sobbed suddenly, and Angel grasped me closer to him, running his hands through my hair, calming me down. I felt her own tears sliding into my hair, and begin to hear Angel's voice singing an old Spanish lullaby very quietly in my ear.

My crying slowly stopped, and sobs turned into sniffles. I looked up into Angel's face and saw the warm, comforting smile that I needed to see. Angel placed his hand beneath my chin and gently lifted my face. He continued smiling, and wiped my tears away.

I remained in Angel's embrace. This was all that mattered. This moment was all that there was. We were the only two people who mattered.

After what seemed like hours, I had finally let Angel fall asleep, before quietly sneaking out of his warm, comfortable embrace. There was still one thing I needed to go tonight.

I crept over to the corner of my apartment, taking out my needle, rubber band, spoons, a flame and of course my heroin. It was hard to concentrate at first, but I eventually succeeded in heating my heroin to the right temperature. I sighed with relief when I felt the familiar sensation flowing through my vein.

After the shaking subsided, I went to stand up, finding myself oddly off balance. I waited to regain my composure, and picked myself up off the floor off my loft, hiding my needle and smack out of Angel's view. I walked in my bathroom, and turned the hot water on. I watched as it filled the tub, sitting on my toilet seat.

Once the water had reached a desirable depth, I slowly stripped the clothing off of my body-I felt pained when I remembered who I wanted to be stripping me tonight. I closed my eyes as I stepped into the too hot bath, and sighed as I lowered my body into.

My eyes remained closed, and I felt relaxed-not high-just relaxed-for the first time in months. I was more conscious of my breathing than I ever had been in my life. I held my breath and dipped into the water. Part of me wanted to open my mouth and let the water come rushing in, hopefully drowning me. The other part of me realized how unfair that would be to Angel.

I came out of the water and opened my eyes. The sound of the water around me was soothing in a way, comforting me nearly as much as Angel had. I thought about Angel, and how great of a friend she is. Friends like that are few and far between. It was like a slap in the face when I thought some more-I gave my best friend her death sentence-I wanted Angel to feel how great heroin felt, and gave her HIV-the disease that I knew would kill us both-sooner or later. Angel didn't deserve to die. It made me bitter to realize that it would be my fault when the disease eventually claimed him.

The water was beginning to cool down, but instead of climbing out, I turned the hot water on, and reached over to light a candle. Light a candle-hah, Roger. URGH. I can't thinking about that bastard.

I concentrated on the flicker of the candle. I wondered what it would be like to be a flame-to be ignited, then extinguished without any say. Wow. I should get back to bed. Maybe doing some heroin wasn't such a great idea…

I stayed in the bath for quite some time after this, and eventually climbed out when the water was uncomfortably closed. I let the water and wrapped myself in a warm towel. I slid on a pair of panties and a t-shirt-Angel's t-shirt, and climbed back into Angel's warm embrace. I swear I saw her smile slightly when I slid her arm over me again, needing to know that she was there.

I curled up into by usual ball, and eventually fell asleep. I woke up to Angel smiling down at me, not having removed me from her arms. I looked up at Angel and I was finally able to smile a little, "Thank you, Angel-for always being here."


	9. All That I've Got

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Eight: All That I've Got

A few hours later, after Angel had confirmed that I was really okay, Angel went to go meet his newly found lover, Collins and I decided to go back to bed. I was really tired, and still feeling a little bit down.

When I woke up, I lit up a cigarette and sat perched on the stair leading towards the biggest let down of my life-Roger. I looked out into the city and was extremely shocked when I saw Roger hurrying away from the building, looking very distressed.

This meant the loft was empty, and before I realized what I was doing, I quietly crept upstairs. I gently pushed on the door of their fire escape. I knew how easy it was to break into a New York City apartment, and although the thought was usually very unsettling, I found comfort in it now. When I was finally inside the loft, I looked around, trying to figure out where Roger's room would most likely be located. I saw a guitar case in the doorway in one of three rooms and decided that it would be my best bet.

I walked hurriedly towards my destination knowing that I didn't have much time-They could return any time. I paused for a second when I saw a photograph of Roger-on stage, looking happier than I ever imagined possible for him. This aroused my already overwhelming curiosity-I needed to somehow find out why he was so down, and why he had stopped letting people in. I knew he had a friend-girlfriend, who had died, but I was also smart enough to know that there was more to it than that.

I was surprised at how clean and organized this room was, in comparison to the loft. My eyes instantaneously went to a brown leather bound book sitting on a shelf. I picked it up, and one quick look confirmed that it was what I thought it was-Roger's journal.

I read over a few entries, some hateful words about his parents and Benny, a 900 accurate account of a bad heroin trip, a few mushy entries about his deep passionate love for April. I read on, skimming for anything that may be of interest. I turned a page, and was surprised when a rough looking piece of paper fluttered towards the ground.

My hand shook as I picked it up. I somehow knew that this was what I was looking for. I looked down at the page, and noticed a different writing than Roger's. It was more feminine, but it was written hurriedly, and I could see what looked like little drops of…blood? I almost fainted when I read the words on the paper.

"WE'VE GOT AIDS. SORRY BABY, I CAN'T LIVE KNOWING I'M GOING TO DIE SOON. I LOVE YOU. KEEP YOUR FIRE BURNING STRONG MY LOVE."

I tried hard to stay standing, as I felt tears burning down my face. This was more than I bargained for. I wanted to know-But not this much. I quickly placed the paper back into the journal and put the journal back. I left the loft, feeling dazed.

Thousands of questions ran through my mind. "We" as in her and Roger? Did this mean that Roger was positive? Was this why Roger kept saying that his fire was out? Why had April acted so rashly, and taken her life? Who found her? Was this why Roger was afraid to let me in? I paced around my apartment until I heard a sharp knock at the door. I jumped before hurrying to answer it. I assumed it was Angel, he told me that he would be back later.

I was surprised when I saw not only Angel, but Mark and Collins too.

"Hi, I'm Mark," Mark introduced himself, " I live upstairs, with Roger. I thought that maybe you should know some things. Uhm, Roger wants you Mimi. He's been acting different since the night before last, and I think that it's because of meeting you. Roger lost his girlfriend last year-she killed herself, and Roger came home, high as kite, to discover that April had slit her wrists and left him a short note, with no explanation as to why she did what she did. Since then, he's been different. The drugs changed him, but not as much as losing April did. He won't leave the house-let alone admit to having feelings. He's in a whole "Fuck the World" faze of life right now, so be patient, let him learn to love again. Don't be overeager, but don't give up, you still have a chance. Uhm, by the way, I sort of mentioned to Roger that you'd be at Maureen's show tonight to make him leave the loft again, so would you mind coming?" He said the last bit very quickly, a hint of colour rising in his cheeks.

I wasn't sure why Mark was open about Roger, but I assumed that Roger wouldn't be too impressed if he knew Mark was telling the world his life story. I smiled slightly, still trying to take in what Mark had just told me. I nodded, "Sure, I was actually thinking about going to the protest anyways." Mark waved, and hurried upstairs, where I assumed Roger was waiting for him. Collins left soon after, but not before he and Angel shared a passionate kiss.

I gave Angel a look, one that kind of said "Tell me everything," and Angel quickly explained that after a Life Support meeting and amusing ride on the subway that she and Collins had become a couple. I squealed with excitement and hugged Angel tightly, happy that she had finally found someone who accepted her for who-what she was. Angel left a few minutes later, claiming she needed to fix up her makeup before the protest.

I took a really hot shower, and as I was washing my hair, I thought about everything that I had discovered in the last few hours. I wondered if it could really be possible for Roger to ever love me as he had loved April. When she died, she took a part of him with her, and I wondered what it would take to get that part back, because I knew that I would stop at nothing, because Mimi Marquez always gets what she wants.

After my shower, I dressed myself and prepared to leave for the protest, after of course, I made my usual stop.

When I arrived at the performance space, I found it bustling with far too many people, yet it was not difficult to notice the one I was looking for. He stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets, just as they usually were.

He acknowledged me as I moved slower, and made my request, the usual amount of smack, and a few grams of weed. Roger approached me as we made the exchange.

"Hey," I said, not really knowing what else to say. It felt akward being this close to him at the same time as my supplier. He looked at me, with an oddly nervous look in his eye,

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, moving closer. I was surprised when The Man pushed Roger away from me, "Hey lover boy, steal my client, you die." I slid my drugs into my boot, and was really surprised when Roger replied.

"You didn't miss me, you won't miss her," he said, pushing The Man back. I looked at both of them, "Look around, you got plenty of customers." I decided to end this here, before it went any further than it already had, I grabbed Roger's jacket and gestured towards The Man, telling him not to worry. After we were a small distance away, I stopped and faced Roger, removing my hand from his jacket.

"Look, about last night," he paused, looking really uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I dunno what-" he stuttted. The look that came across his face made me realize that whatever he wanted to say, was obviously not easy. So rather than causing him more pain, I cut him off.

"Just forget it." I said, shaking my head.

"I was out of line," he defended himself. He looked nervous again. "Can I make it up to you?" He asked hopefully. Fucking right you can. But instead of saying that, I decided to play difficult for a few minutes, have a bit of fun.

"How?"

"A bunch of are getting together tonight-at the Life Café, after Maureen's show." Oh my God, was he getting at what I thought he was getting at? I tried to contain my excitement, and inquired,

"Yeah…" I said, looking up at him playfully. Damn, he was sexy.

I almost laughed as I watched him struggle uncomfortably, trying to figure out what to say. "Would you like to come with me?" I tried hard not to smile now. YES!!!

"Sure." I said, looking down and smiling slightly, "I'd like that." Roger smiled at me now, damn, he had a nice smile-too bad it usually got left in his closet. He looked uncomfortable and made a signal that I read as, Okay, let's go. I almost reached for his hand, but realized that he had crossed his arms, and that I shouldn't get ahead of myself. After a few minutes of silence, I decided to start a conversation,

"So, you're a tough guy?" I asked him playfully. He almost laughed, and I jokingly shook my fists at him. 'That was pretty good," I said as we walked into The Space. I looked up at him, and when he met my eye, I found myself breathless, and giggly like a 12 year old girl who'd just had her very first kiss. I nearly melted as he placed his hand on my shoulder as he searched The Space for our friends.

"Angel!" I yelled, noticing her from across the room.

"Mimi!" I heard her reply, and Roger and I rushed across to where Mark(With his camera), Angel and Collins, were standing huddled. We talked for a few minutes, before a figure on a motorbike entered the area. Oh God, this was going to be a long night!


	10. Riots and Roars

Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Nine: Riots and Roars

More excited than I remember being in my whole life, I joined into the cheering welcoming Maureen into The Space. Maureen took her place on the stage, looking ecstatic that so many people had come here in support of her cause. She put her hands up, as a signal for silence. I was surprised at how quickly so many people shut up. She took a deep breath and with a snap of her fingers, lights came on, and she began.

"Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland. It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. Out of the abyss walked a cow -- Elsie." Oh. My. God. Why hadn't anyone warned me that Maureen was kinda crazy? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Benny. What the fuck is he doing here?

"I asked if she had anything to drink. She said, 'I'm forbidden to produce milk.

In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke.'" Wow. Maureen can sing pretty damn good. I laughed and clapped. This was actually pretty damn amusing. I moved a little closer to Roger, and Maureen continued,

"She said, 'Only thing to do is jump over the moon' I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse!" Ahh. This is so amazingly hilarious! I love Maureen already. "I've," Okay, slightly scary look. "gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta find a way!" Wow. "To jump over the moon

Only thing to do is jump over the moon" Protests like these were one of the reasons I loved New York-people would do ANYTHING to get their point across.

"Yeah! Go Maureen!" I shouted. I was having a lot of fun, whether it was because of Maureen or Roger-I'll never know.

"Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny," I booed Benny along with everyone else, almost forgetting that this whole protest was protesting him being an asshole. "And although he once had principles," I struggled to hear what Collins was asking Roger at that moment, but when I failed, I went back to listening to the protest.

"He abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution." So true.

"One. Two. Three. 'That's bull,' he said." Lips. Mouths. Oh my God. Lips and Mouths are the back up voices! "Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy. And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table -- and eloped ...

She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since. Maybe it's a female thing." Hm. I wonder if Maureen would ever be a stripper. She'd probably enjoy it a lot. "'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?...Walls ain't so bad." I hate walls. Walls are straight from hell. I'm not talking about walls around a house, I'm talking about the walls that almost stopped me from having a chance with Roger.

"The dish and the spoon for instance. They were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse door. I said, "Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!" I laughed so hard at this that I thought I would die. How the hell did she think of things like this?

"The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me. "A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she asked. Parched. "Have some milk." I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder and sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted." What the fuck is she doing? She's reminding me of something I see when I have bad trips. I said this quietly, and was surprised when I heard Roger laugh quietly, "Just wait, Mark in the morning is trippy as fuck." I smiled lightly and looked up at him, but his attention was already back on the protest.

""Climb on board," she said. And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland,

We reared back and sprang into a gallop. Leaping out of orbit!" I jumped up and down a bit. I was having a lot of fun-even if Maureen came straight out of a bad heroin trip.

"I awoke singing," I watched Maureen, and wondered if there was a tiny chance that she was going over board.

"Only thing to do, Only thing to do is jump. Only thing to do is jump over the moon, Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Over the moon -- over the." Maureen started mooing-yep, that's right-mooing, and for the record, I'm not high. "Moooooooo. Moooooooo. Moooooooo. Moooooooo. Moo with me." Someone in the audience obliged, which caused Maureen to get crazy again.

"Yes! Who is that? Don't be shy! Let it go. Moo with me!! Let it rip! MOO!" Oh dear. "Let it go, New York City!! Moo! Mooo! Moo!" After this, I heard the sound of a police whistle, and watched as a desperate Maureen tried to stop a riot that was about to begin. I tried to see what was going on, but it was really hard with so many people. Next thing I knew, Roger had his arms around me, leading the group towards the exit.

After we escaped onto the cold New York City street, I lit up a cigarette, and tried to calm down. I was shaking. I wasn't sure what it was from-whether it be from the lack of heroin, Roger's arms around me or the riot.

Roger, Collins, Angel and I began walking towards the Life Café. It was quiet so I decided to start up a conversation.

'So, that was pretty funny. Maureen overdoes it a bit sometimes, huh?" I watched as Roger and Collins shared a significant look.

"Sometimes!?!" Roger exclaimed. "She's ALWAYS like that." I looked at him for a second, wondering if he was kidding or not. Collins nodded and started to laugh. "Maureen's very unique. If we were all like her…"

"The world would be pretty fucking scary." Roger finished for him. We reached the Life Café, and decided to wait outside for Mark, Joanne and the drama queen to arrive. I'm not sure why, but I somehow knew that this night had hardly even began.


End file.
